Feel free to shoplift

Yeah, use this on your own blog or send it to your friends in an email. Take out some lines if you don't like them (I sure did) and add at least one of your own.

If I were a stone, I would be "Sly and the Family" - just kidding - actually, I'd be a stone island, because although no man is an island, I do well as part of an archipelago.
If I were a tree, I would be a ginko because they have cool leaves.
If I were a bird, I would be a wood duck. I don't know why, but I have always liked them, plus I like pretty boys.
If I were a tool, I would be a rotary cutter, you know like a pizza cutter for fabric or paper.
If I were a flower, I would be a dandelion.
If I were weather, I would be a heat wave.
If I were a mythical creature, I would be a sphinx.
If I were a musical instrument, I would be tympani.
If I were an animal, I would be a cat, a run-of-the-mill orange tabby.
If I were a colour, I would be navy blue.
If I were an emotion, I would be malaise, a general feeling of.
If I were a vegetable, I would be a soybean.
If I were a sound, I would be your favorite song.
If I were an element, I would be bromine, a dark brown pungent liquid which is toxic and highly reactive. Maybe it is more accurate to say that bromine is my favorite element.
If I were a historical figure, I would be Sojourner Truth.
If I were a celebrity, I would be in the looney bin. The lack of privacy would not sit well with me.
If I were a book, I would be Good in Bed by Jennifer Weiner.
If I were a movie, I would be Someone Like You.
If I were a food, I would be Curry Chicken from Chiang Mai Thai.
If I were a place, I would be a storage area.
If I were a piece of clothing, I would be cargo pants.
If I were a fabric, I would be army green broadcloth.
If I were an object, I would be a safety pin.
If I were a word, I would be flummoxed.
If I were a body part, I would be an ear lobe.
If I were a facial expression, I would be a grimace.
If I were a subject in school, I would be math.
If I were a shape, I would be a pyramid.
If I were a number, I would be seven.
If I were a month, I would be March.
If I were a day of the week, I would be Thursday.
If I were a time of day, I would be 7:00 PM.
If I were a piece of furniture, I would be an armoire.
If I were a sin, I would be sloth.
If I were a liquid, I would be chai tea.
If I were a planet, I would be Venus.
If I were a scent, I would be vanilla.
If I were a sea animal, I would be terrified.
If I were a dessert, I would be cannolli.
If I were a sky, I would be a sunset.

My additions:

If I were a foreign country, I would be Portugal.
If I were a weapon, I would be a spetum, which is cool looking spear.
If I were a fruit, I would be a pear.

PS Thank you to Yahoo and Google's Image Search capabilities. Have you tried them?